Today I went for a row and it was good. Thumbs up, high five, etc.
The hardest thing now is staying patient. Good thing I have had a bit of practice.
Short and Sweet
Today I went for a row and it was good. Thumbs up, high five, etc.
The hardest thing now is staying patient. Good thing I have had a bit of practice.
BREAKTHROUGH
I'm lying on the treatment bed and my physio is still not happy with my ranges of motion, more specifically my hip flexion and straight leg raise. She then instructs me to do two of the exercises I had worked hard on while training prior to my current injury. I get back on the bed and suddenly I have the ranges of motion to row. Wow, breakthrough.
This was three weeks ago. The reason I haven't blogged about it yet probably has something to do with my last blog post. Since then I have progressed from two minutes on the erg to fifteen and I have just been given the go ahead to go for a row. Yes, a row. In a boat. On water. Smiley face.
"How?", you may ask. Well, a lot of it has to do with the large amount of rehab I have already done for my lower back in the past. To already have quality movement sequencing of my hip and trunk for rowing prior to the surgery has been vital. However, to tap into those movement patterns in my brain to facilitate such a large change in muscle recruitment is physiotherapy rehabilitation gold. Pain and its affect on movement at a higher neurological level is a bit of a passion of mine and could be a career path for me post rowing.
The only things that will stop me rowing next week are the weather or this pesky middle ear infection that I currently have the joy of experiencing. It’s the first one I've ever had and it makes balancing fun. As I said on the 'about' page, when it rains it pours.
Anyway, if I get to row I'll let you know how I go.
Movement At The Station
Walking has become my main form of physical activity. I'm discovering new areas around my neighborhood that I've never seen before, that's a plus. I'm also back on an indoor bike called a Wattbike every second day for short periods and I start swimming tomorrow, more pluses. There's movement at the station and everything is progressing. Why do I, at times, struggle to see the positives of my situation then?
It has been a few weeks since my last post so I have already lapsed on my 'at least one post per week' comment. I have had ideas for posts but I haven't got around to writing one. But it's not like I've been busy.
This sort of behaviour may sound familiar to some of you, whether you've seen it from others or from yourself. I refer back to the 'about' page, where I mentioned that after so many injury disruptions to my training, in 2013, I had to add the 'muscle' between by ears to the rehab list. I honestly don't think mental health issues should be a taboo topic. Especially since almost half of all Australians will experience a mental illness sometime in their life according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. Also, I think a lot of people would be surprised at the level of mental illness in the elite athlete population. The same mentality that allows us to achieve can also bring us down.
I knew this was coming, it has characterised this stage in my last few rehabs. When things progress slowly and the weeks go past far too quickly. Generally it's your own expectations that get in the way and the word 'patience' gets thrown around a lot. There's still no denying that not being able to do what you thought you would be able to do at a given time makes you feel like crap and the behaviour that follows is not very constructive. Even though I have experienced multiple injury rehabs.
My expectations were in line with what I wanted to do for this coming rowing season. Of course, after a stronger 2014/2015 season I wanted see how close I could get to the Olympic team heading to Rio next year. This was realistic if my surgery had gone completely to plan and it had been a stock standard microdiscectomy. Unfortunately it wasn't, and now I am experiencing the delays caused by the amount of damage that had occurred to my bottom disc. The result? A confirmation this week from my physiotherapist that even though I may return to competition this year I will not be competitive enough to be anywhere near making the Olympic team in any capacity due to the lost training time. It's a bit hard to swallow missing another Australian Olympic Team. That's the reality.
What was harder to swallow was the other news I was told this week.
Physio: "What is different about this rehab when compared to the others you have already been through is even if you do everything right you may not return to competitive rowing this time."
Me: *Silence*
I have always said that I will try my hardest to make an Olympic team until Tokyo 2020. They say that youth is wasted on the young. Youth will not be wasted on me. If I don't make it to Tokyo then that is where I need to stop and reassess. The only reason that I will not push all the way to 2020 is if continuing the journey would mean permanent damage to my health. As I have mentioned previously, quality of life comes first. I need to remain physically active and I need to be able to play with my children and my grandchildren as the years pass. Priorities people.
The weeks ahead involve the simple progression of what I'm already doing. Getting on the rowing machine or 'erg' is on the horizon somewhere, but there's still quite a distance to walk.
The weeks ahead involve the simple progression of what I'm already doing. Getting on the rowing machine or 'erg' is on the horizon somewhere, but there's still quite a distance to walk.
LOUD NOISES
If you've ever had an MRI scan you'll know what the title of this post is referring to. If you haven't, they're a noisy place to spend 20 or so minutes. The big machine that you're laying in or through makes all sorts of sounds and vibrations as it aligns and excites hydrogen atoms in your body and receives the radio signals they emit. The result, a better understanding of what's going on inside.
I had another MRI scan on Wednesday. Why? Because the gluteal, leg and foot symptoms that I had experienced prior to my back surgery had returned. Over the past week or so as my surgical wound pain cleared my left foot went a little more numb and my left gluteal started to hurt again when I used it to stand up, etc. I was confused. I hadn't done anything wrong. Why was I getting pain again? Understandably, I was worried. I organised to see the surgeon and he ordered the MRI.
It's ok. It's just a lot of post-op swelling around the nerve. Phew.
This was the forth MRI scan that I've had. The last two have been in fairly quick succession with the previous one to this occurring in early July while in Korea. The difference between the two experiences was quite remarkable. The main difference being the Australian scan was more comfortable.
The photo above is the actual machine that I had my scan in on Wednesday. They set me up on my back in a comfortable position with a chock underneath my knees to reduce the arch in my lower spine. They gave me ear plugs and headphones with my choice of music to distract me from the noise and even something to squeeze if I wanted to stop. In Korea they gave me dodgy ear plugs, told me to lay on my back and not to move. At the time anything that put me into lumbar extension (arching the lower back) was quite uncomfortable. Without any support under my knees lying on my back did exactly that. I kept calm in there and came out wet with sweat. It was a pretty horrible experience and now that I've had another scan at home it makes me appreciate the Australian health system.
This weekend the World Rowing Championships get underway in Aiguebelette, France. It's going to be great to see Australia take on the rest of the world to not only vie for podium positions but also qualify the country for the Olympic Games in the respective boat classes. If any of the Australian Rowing Team are reading this I wish you all the best and a special shout out to the guys in the heavyweight quad who I trained along side during their domestic preparation. The usual pre-race passing comment in the boat park, "have a good one".
Shuffle Shuffle Shuffle
Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, my housemates say they can hear me coming down the hallway so they give way to the 'old man' in ugg boots, thanks guys. That means I'm home from hospital and that's where I'll stay for while because I'm not allowed to drive for a few weeks. I'm also restricted to sitting for short periods and moving around is difficult and painful. I do feel like an old man.
This is not the first time. I have had two previous surgeries so I am familiar with post operative pain and I know the wound pain will clear relatively quickly. It's at these times when you ask yourself why do I do it? And is it worth going through all this? The answers to these questions are not necessarily simple.
The easiest of the two to answer is 'is it worth it?'. I know I'm not the only one to ask myself this question. I'm reminded this while watching the three part BBC television documentary Gold Fever recently. It follows the Great British men's heavyweight four during the Olympiad leading up to the Sydney Olympic Games in 2000. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it (link here). In episode one the great rower Sir Steve Redgrave encounters the sudden onset of diabetes and spends multiple months struggling with the regulation of his blood glucose levels while undertaking an elite level training load. He questions, "Is it worth it? Is the Olympic Games worth going through this hassle?". Obviously for him the answer was yes and he would go on to win his fifth Olympic gold medal in Sydney. For me, at the moment, it is about returning to a pain free and physically active lifestyle. So, absolutely, the current state I'm in is definitely worth it, even just to maintain quality of life into the future. During the progression of rehabilitation over the coming months I will then most likely ask myself the same question that Steve faced. Is the Olympic Games worth it? Yes.
Now, why do I do it? In this instance I think 'it' essentially refers to, why do I row? I often tend to overthink things and, for me, this question could produce quite a complicated answer. But I'll keep it simple. I row because I love it and I'm good at it. The pure feeling of flow when everything comes together in a race is something I haven't experienced in any other physical pursuit I have undertaken. It's addictive.
The next few weeks is about returning to normal daily activities and feeling less like an old man. This stage is about being patient and starting to do all the little physio exercises that most athletes find annoying. Sometimes when all that you want is to get back into the boat and return to a full training load as soon as possible you forget that, at times like this, being patient and doing less will actually get you there quicker. Thankfully, I now have experience on my side. If you haven't already, have a look at the 'about' page to see what I mean.
We Meet Again
I write this while on my back in a hospital bed. It has been about 24hrs since I had back surgery to remove the pressure off my left S1 spinal nerve. According to my surgeon, who I just spoke to this afternoon, my L5-S1 disc (the bottom one) had basically exploded leaving me with the left gluteal, leg and foot symptoms that I've been experiencing. Not the greatest news to receive while lying in a post anesthetic daze.
How did I end up staring at the ceiling of a hospital...again?
Six weeks ago I was in Chungju, South Korea in the final few days preparation for racing at the 2015 Summer Universiade Rowing Regatta. I was there representing Australia in the men's single scull. I progressed to the semifinal but I wasn't rowing at my best. The next day I would find out why. During the morning warm-up row the outside of my left foot went numb and I experienced tingling on the outside of my left thigh. Needless to say I was worried and after immediate communication with my physiotherapist back in Tasmania I withdrew from competition.
So, after returning to Australia and undergoing a number of weeks of unsuccessful oral and injectable anti-inflammatory treatment, surgery was the only answer. Not only to return to rowing but return to a normal, pain free, physically active lifestyle.
I have started this blog to allow anyone to join me on the journey ahead of me, the journey toward my goal of competing at the highest level of rowing, the Olympic Games. The journey behind me is already full of up and downs, if you have read the 'about' page of this blog you will know that I have had quite an injury history since 2009. My journey is where this blog gets its name from.
I will share with you the events that transpire - good or bad - my thoughts on them and how I will use my experience gained from five other rehabs to return and progress to top level rowing competition. I am not normally one to share a whole lot, however I know I have learned from others and I think others can learn from my experiences. I will try to post something at least once a week. I can't promise anything, but I don't think this will be hard for the first few weeks as I spend most of my time staring at the ceiling as I wait for my post operative pain to settle. So, strap in, it may not be riveting but it will be interesting. I hope.
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