Shuffle Shuffle Shuffle

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, my housemates say they can hear me coming down the hallway so they give way to the 'old man' in ugg boots, thanks guys. That means I'm home from hospital and that's where I'll stay for while because I'm not allowed to drive for a few weeks. I'm also restricted to sitting for short periods and moving around is difficult and painful. I do feel like an old man.

This is not the first time. I have had two previous surgeries so I am familiar with post operative pain and I know the wound pain will clear relatively quickly. It's at these times when you ask yourself why do I do it? And is it worth going through all this? The answers to these questions are not necessarily simple.

The easiest of the two to answer is 'is it worth it?'. I know I'm not the only one to ask myself this question. I'm reminded this while watching the three part BBC television documentary Gold Fever recently. It follows the Great British men's heavyweight four during the Olympiad leading up to the Sydney Olympic Games in 2000. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it (link here). In episode one the great rower Sir Steve Redgrave encounters the sudden onset of diabetes and spends multiple months struggling with the regulation of his blood glucose levels while undertaking an elite level training load. He questions, "Is it worth it? Is the Olympic Games worth going through this hassle?". Obviously for him the answer was yes and he would go on to win his fifth Olympic gold medal in Sydney. For me, at the moment, it is about returning to a pain free and physically active lifestyle. So, absolutely, the current state I'm in is definitely worth it, even just to maintain quality of life into the future. During the progression of rehabilitation over the coming months I will then most likely ask myself the same question that Steve faced. Is the Olympic Games worth it? Yes.

Now, why do I do it? In this instance I think 'it' essentially refers to, why do I row? I often tend to overthink things and, for me, this question could produce quite a complicated answer. But I'll keep it simple. I row because I love it and I'm good at it. The pure feeling of flow when everything comes together in a race is something I haven't experienced in any other physical pursuit I have undertaken. It's addictive. 

The next few weeks is about returning to normal daily activities and feeling less like an old man. This stage is about being patient and starting to do all the little physio exercises that most athletes find annoying. Sometimes when all that you want is to get back into the boat and return to a full training load as soon as possible you forget that, at times like this, being patient and doing less will actually get you there quicker. Thankfully, I now have experience on my side. If you haven't already, have a look at the 'about' page to see what I mean.

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