Movement At The Station

Walking has become my main form of physical activity. I'm discovering new areas around my neighborhood that I've never seen before, that's a plus. I'm also back on an indoor bike called a Wattbike every second day for short periods and I start swimming tomorrow, more pluses. There's movement at the station and everything is progressing. Why do I, at times, struggle to see the positives of my situation then?

It has been a few weeks since my last post so I have already lapsed on my 'at least one post per week' comment. I have had ideas for posts but I haven't got around to writing one. But it's not like I've been busy. 

This sort of behaviour may sound familiar to some of you, whether you've seen it from others or from yourself. I refer back to the 'about' page, where I mentioned that after so many injury disruptions to my training, in 2013, I had to add the 'muscle' between by ears to the rehab list. I honestly don't think mental health issues should be a taboo topic. Especially since almost half of all Australians will experience a mental illness sometime in their life according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. Also, I think a lot of people would be surprised at the level of mental illness in the elite athlete population. The same mentality that allows us to achieve can also bring us down.

I knew this was coming, it has characterised this stage in my last few rehabs. When things progress slowly and the weeks go past far too quickly. Generally it's your own expectations that get in the way and the word 'patience' gets thrown around a lot. There's still no denying that not being able to do what you thought you would be able to do at a given time makes you feel like crap and the behaviour that follows is not very constructive. Even though I have experienced multiple injury rehabs.

My expectations were in line with what I wanted to do for this coming rowing season. Of course, after a stronger 2014/2015 season I wanted see how close I could get to the Olympic team heading to Rio next year. This was realistic if my surgery had gone completely to plan and it had been a stock standard microdiscectomy. Unfortunately it wasn't, and now I am experiencing the delays caused by the amount of damage that had occurred to my bottom disc. The result? A confirmation this week from my physiotherapist that even though I may return to competition this year I will not be competitive enough to be anywhere near making the Olympic team in any capacity due to the lost training time. It's a bit hard to swallow missing another Australian Olympic Team. That's the reality.

What was harder to swallow was the other news I was told this week.

Physio: "What is different about this rehab when compared to the others you have already been through is even if you do everything right you may not return to competitive rowing this time." 

Me: *Silence*

I have always said that I will try my hardest to make an Olympic team until Tokyo 2020. They say that youth is wasted on the young. Youth will not be wasted on me. If I don't make it to Tokyo then that is where I need to stop and reassess. The only reason that I will not push all the way to 2020 is if continuing the journey would mean permanent damage to my health. As I have mentioned previously, quality of life comes first. I need to remain physically active and I need to be able to play with my children and my grandchildren as the years pass. Priorities people.

The weeks ahead involve the simple progression of what I'm already doing. Getting on the rowing machine or 'erg' is on the horizon somewhere, but there's still quite a distance to walk.

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